The Rule

I grew up pretty poor, for the most part. Often, when you hear the word "Poor" you assume that means that someone can turn 30 bucks into a months worth of groceries and other such magic tricks; that is not the kind of poor I mean. We were the kind of poor that meant when you get money, spend it quick, because it's going to be gone soon anyways. The kind of poverty that becomes a catch 22. I don't have money to spend because I spend all the money I have. I spend all the money I have because I don't have money to spend.

When I got my first job (and the many jobs I had afterwards), I blew everything I had within a week on slurpees and eating out, and clothing and shoes. I literally spent a decade worth of paychecks and have nothing to show for it (except perhaps my love handles).

The change that lead to THE RULE (ohohohhhhhh!) was getting married. Suddenly there was someone there who knew how naughty I was. Someone who would have to eat canned beans because I was wearing GAP jeans. And suddenly, new clothes were less important. Suddenly shopping wasn't as fun. Suddenly, someone would suffer from my irresponsibility. And not so suddenly, I changed.

I created a rule. This rule was a line drawn before every purchase. A question to be savored before every latte. A decision to live by.

The rule is simply this: WAIT.

The questions is 'can I live without it?'

The decision is: I will put others before myself.

So when I think we need a new duvet cover, I put it on the back burner of my mental list. I price compare at my local stores. I check (oh, yes. Hot water and bleach) the second hand stores. I inspect the duvet cover I already own. And after a bare minimum of 3 days (but it can take months), I decide and then act.

What I do not do is go out and buy the first one I see at Sears.

I do not steal money from the grocery budget.

I don't mope about not being able to afford the one online.

This may not be rocket science to you, but it was for me. And it has made me so much more responsible with my money.

PS - I made black bean soup today. I think my life has changed forever.